Am I Too Old To Change?

You are only too old to change if you think you are too old to change.

In 2014 I remember limping into another appointment with my mentor. At this point I was somewhere around a year in this process of restoring movement.

We did what we usually did for our sessions.

Get to the ground.

Relax. Breathe.

Move a little.

As I neared the end of my session he said, “Okay, it’s time to turn up the heat. You are ready.”  Feeling better than when I walked in I slowly stood up and awaited further instruction.

He stood in the middle of the room, bent forward with straight legs.

Walked his hands out until his body was in a push up position.

Did 5 push ups.

Then inch by inch walked his feet to where his hands were.

Then repeated that 5 more times.

Basically, he did an inchworm variation with pushups.

I looked at him like he forgot who he was training. Broken back remember? Now he wants me to do pushups and inchworms? I could barely put my shoes on. I had become so weak from years of not moving and was still experiencing debilitating pain. In other words – no way was I going to do what he just showed me.

And that’s exactly what I said, “No way, what else can we do?” He turned to me and sharply said, “Let me know when you are done arguing for your limitations and wasting my time. Have a good day.” I thought he was kidding. But he didn’t flinch. He just stared at me.

Me, being a people pleaser and incredibly uncomfortable with confrontation and silence, I submitted and said I would try.

I slowly did an inch worm and struggled through 5 push ups. Then did it again. And again. And again.

I couldn’t believe it. I was doing it. I was moving. My blood was pumping. My heart was beating. I was sweating. I felt muscles working that I hadn’t felt in years. My eyes began to swell with tears of joy.

It was in this exact moment I saw how I had limited myself for years. I thought I had been protecting myself when in reality I was preventing myself from getting better.

Your body will listen and follow whichever story you hold on to.

If you think you are too old to change or too far gone to feel better, you are right.

If you think you can get better, you are right.

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